Confession time: I was more nervous about last Sunday than I was about launch. What if no one came back? What if it was empty? What if the teams had a slump since launch was over? All these questions were raging in my mind as I went to bed Saturday night…and once again God did more than I imagined.

The normal church plant will retain 70% of its launch crowd. That’s just the norm. God blew that out of the water for us. We had a retention rate of 86%! On top of that we had 16 visitors which is really amazing for week 2. God is doing some amazing things at Baypointe Church, but it is just the beginning. We still need all your prayers, support, and encouragement. We do not have this figured out; we simply have a plan to be organized, forward focused, and hold on for the ride. Here are some of my main takeaways from week 2:

• Setup this week was 3.5 hours faster than last week. And we had less people. We are trying to increase the number of people on this team. Come on, you know you want to sign up!
• Jeremy and the band are coming together. Some great news is that this week we have added new musicians and leaders to the team. It’s growing and only going to get better.
• Sound was a hundred times better by adding new house speakers.
• I watched (ok maybe spied) on the First Impressions team and I will never do that again. WOW. They were spot on and looked like they were having a blast.  They were smiling, friendly, focused, and the visitor comments reflected on that. A great first impression team will make or break you…
• We dove into Week 2 of the series “RE-frame,” and dealt with the topic of spirituality. Lots of emails and comments about people “getting it.” That makes it worth it.

I can’t wait for this Sunday for two main reasons: 1.) Another Baypointe experience. 2.) Our connectivity event right after service which is basically going to the beach to hang out and get to know the people of Baypointe. Yeah, I know, hanging on one of the most beautiful beaches will be tough, but I will make the sacrifice.

So I have taken some time to decompress a little and let launch day settle in before writing about it. Even after all the time I have let pass, I am still not sure what to say that would do justice to the feelings I had that morning as I watched God unfold His plan for a great day. At one point I went to our worship leader and said, “People are still coming!” We didn’t even know what to do except laugh. I have tons of thoughts, but these are some of the main takeaways.

• I cannot say enough about our leadership team. They were focused, diligent, and effective in their roles. They had their teams trained and even when we had small issues, they creatively solved them without me knowing it. I can’t believe the team I get to lead. Have we arrived? Do we have it all together? Nope, we have just begun and if this is just the beginning, I can’t imagine where we will go with this team.
• I was honored that some friends surprised me and showed up for launch. It was special for me to have them there.
• I was also honored to have some mentors, leaders from the denomination, and even another ARC church planter there.
• I had a massive reality moment during the last song. God has begun a church here, and I am supposed to lead it…gulp. It was no longer just a small group of people, but a larger one.
• The ministry teams were great. To think that less than a year ago I knew no one, and now to see about 30 people serving others at Baypointe is simply remarkable.

Launch day was a culmination of almost a year of planning, dreaming, and praying. The list of people to thank are numerous and also humbling. Thanks to all who believed in this crazy guy who wanted to bring the message of hope in Jesus to this great city I have been called to. This day was great, but just the beginning, and I can’t wait to see what is in store next…

So after posting yesterday’s blog, I spent much of the day figuring out ways to do what needed to be done to make the right changes. Pastor Brian Hunter and I spoke about a lot of different things regarding stress and what I was dealing with. I also promised I would post some things I will be doing. Here’s the key to managing stress: you have to make it work for you. What I am going to be doing will work for me, but might need to be tailored differently for you. For what it is worth, here are some things that might help you get started.

1. Manage expectations of productivity. I want to be operating at a high level of productivity all the time, but I must base my expectations on where I am working. For example, when I go to Starbucks, Panera, Borders, etc, I get a ton of work done. I have a high expectation of being productive. When I have to work at home, I am dealing with kids, noise, I see things I “need” to clean, laundry that should be getting done, and Gracen’s Cheerio addiction (he might need rehab.) Here’s the problem, I expect to get the same level of productivity at home as I do at an “office.” When that expectation is not met, stress builds. So when I work at home, I have to lower my expectations a little. Doesn’t mean I won’t work hard, it just means I will forgive myself for not maintaining the same productivity level.
2. Spend less days working at home. See above for reasons.
3. Exercise. Many of you know that before I moving here and even for a while after I moved here, I ate healthy and for most weeks, worked out 5-6 days. I was hooked on P90X. Let me be clear, I hate working out. At the same time I wanted to stay in shape and have a healthy life. Over the last 5 months I haven’t done much. An occasional run on the beach, or a swim was about all I could muster. I would make excuses about being busy and not having time, but in reality we all make time for the things we value. From now on I will value my health.
4. Sleep. For the past year, my sleeping habits have been awful. Some of this is not my fault, but some is. I usually get about 3-4 hours of sleep. I am restless about the church plant, my wife’s health, leading a staff, personal finances, and a ton of other things that keep me up. To be honest, I am probably sleep deprived which enhances my stress. Sometime in the next week, I am going to ask someone to come to my house so I can go to a hotel and sleep.
5. A couple days off…ok, at least one. A day of solitude. I did this during the school year last year and it really helped. Every Friday was a day of solitude where I just read, prayed, sat on the beach, but I did not work on anything church related.I will go back to doing this. We are as ready as we can be so I am going to take a day off and decompress. Remember, this launch has consumed almost a year of my life, and it’s getting ready to happen. That is just a long time building. Decompression is key for me right now.

So these are a few of the things I am doing. Some of these sound like that should have been obvious, but I overlooked them. I neglected important things, but they are now being fixed. Some are just for now, and some will be now and ongoing. Listen, I know that right now is a season of higher than normal stress, and it won’t always be like this. But I also know that living a life that is stress-free is impossible. There will always be some level of tension in life, and managing these moments is vital to long-term health.

I know the list is not earth shattering new things, but I overlooked them. Have you?

Grace.

Ben

“Everyone just get away! No one talks to Daddy for a while! I just need to be left alone for a while!” Ever feel like just yelling this amidst the cheerios on the floor, kids stepping on your toes, kids fighting, and all the while trying to meet a deadline for work? Like you just want to explode but you know you must keep your cool, because saying this would be wrong in so many ways. It bubbles up on the inside like a path of destruction trying to get out…just at the tip of your tongue…it would feel good to just let it out…but then…you regain your senses and self control…count to 10 or whatever you do and suppress the outburst. Well, yesterday I didn’t. It came out…I lost it…I snapped…I failed…and it changed my life.

Where did I go wrong? How did this happen? I am usually in control of my emotions. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling and have trained countless people on how to handle stress, avoid outbursts, etc yet I was the one that broke all the things I know to do. Life as I had let become crushed me. It won. I lost. It was a moment I will never forget, and it will be the catalyst for change in me.

I went in my room and after a discussion with Brenda, I was broken. The four people I love with everything in me caught the brunt of my outburst. They were victims to my poor scheduling of days off, lack of sleep over the past 4 months, immense stress about planting a church, and hundreds of other battles playing out in my mind every minute. These are not excuses, they are the enemies. They combined their forces, mounted their vehicles, and aimed their weapons in a coordinated strike directed at my heart. It was precise and hit the target with enormous destruction.

After my discussion with Brenda, teary eyed, I went to each of my kids one by one. I held them, asked them to forgive me, and waited on their response. Cadence, “It’s ok dad, I love you.” Mackenzie, “Well, dad, we were kinda all over you when you were working so don’t worry.” Gracen, “Will you put on Blues Clues and get me some cheerios?” Leave it to him. My kids let me off the hook way to easy. They simply let it go, and I hope God gives me that same ability to not hold a grudge like that. I couldn’t apologize to Brenda. Couldn’t look her in the eyes. I had hurt someone that I love with an intensity I didn’t even know existed. She is so amazing that I can’t describe it, and she caught it. From me…her husband and the person who is supposed to protect her…yet she got the outburst as well because she was there.

I went to my second job without apologizing to her. I just couldn’t. I had no words. After work a good friend of mine (Brian Hunter) who was worried about me called. We spoke for about 30 minutes while I was sitting in my driveway. I confessed to him, and he gave me some real life things to think about. Places I had gone wrong, and ways to fix them. They are great ideas, and while I was excited about implementing them, one thing still haunted me: I had to now go inside my house for the first time since I had left for work. Back to the scene of the crime…to the place of failure. I was humiliated to walk into my home. I get to the front door and find a card on the doorstep…from Brenda…the victim…the hurt one. It was a card telling me how much she loved me, supported me, knew I was going through a lot, and understood it would all be ok. What did I do in that moment of unspoken forgiveness? Yep, cried…but walked in the door. How would I be received? What would be the ramifications of my failure? Running. Lots of running. All of my kids came running with the loud scream of “DADDY!!!” Yep, cried more. Then I saw my wife standing there. I didn’t know what to do except hold her, cry, and say over and over again…I’m sorry…I’m so sorry. To which she kept saying it’s ok, it’s ok, let it go.

Why this long story? Why put my failure out there in such a public realm? I mean we are only 12 days from launch and I should be putting on the smiling preacher face trying to attract all the new people. People might read this and think, WOW, that Pastor is a psycho! Or maybe they will think, wow, he’s human…flawed…and needs Christ in his life just as bad as the rest of the world.

I am taking some steps to ensure this won’t happen again, tomorrow I will give you the things I am doing as some ideas for you. I doubt I am the only one that has moments like this, and I want to help. I don’t want you to go through what I did…ever.

Grace.

Ben

Insanity. Chaos. Overwhelmed. These are just a few of the emotions I have swirling in my head as we get ready to launch Baypointe Church in just three weeks. There has and is so much to get done that it seems like while there are a ton of characteristics that I believe one needs to have to plant a church, there might be one that is the most essential. The church planter better have a high level of organization and time management systems in place. Everyone has their own system of keeping things going, and even if two people are using the same item, they might be using it different. Last week I was at the ARC Basic Training and we were discussing tools that I use to stay productive. Also, I had a great Skype conversation with Lance Crawford and the subject came up again. So I figured I would share a few of the tools and things I use to help me keep me and the staff of Baypointe flowing. Remember, this is what I use, but you might need to tailor it to you.

1. The book, “Getting Things Done” by David Allen. Great methodology behind productivity. It will take a little getting used to it in the beginning stages, but most people find it extremely helpful when they finally get into the GTD rhythm.

2. Evernote – This is a free software/app for capturing notes, random thoughts, and any type of creative thinking you might need to do. This is one I use a lot and I love the price. Also, I love that it syncs with my phone, computer, and web. Random thoughts in your head take up space so getting them “captured” somewhere is vital.

3. Action Method Online – This is a new found must. Staying productive in today’s world is usually more than a “to-do” list. For a church plant it is about managing projects, usually through volunteers. One thing that makes me feel like our organization is loose is when everything is being done through emails. Too many “lost” or “I didn’t get” emails can cause stagnation in a project. Action Method is Internet based project management. This one gets everyone on the team looking, communicating, and uploading files to one central place. You will love this one, and don’t be frightened by the price; they have great deals for non-profits! They also have an app for iPhone which is synced with the online version.

4. Dropbox – This is basically an external hard drive that is online. You can upload docs or pics and have them accessible from anywhere. You won’t need to carry and external drive everywhere you go or risk losing your thumb drive. One of the best parts is that you can get 2GB of storage for free, and if you click here we will both get extra space for free! Come on, hook us up!

5. Things – This is a personal project management software. This could be getting replaced by Action Method, but it is a great help. Little costly though.

6. Mindjet Mindmanager – I am not the most linear person. I need room in my creativity to see the big picture and mind mapping is the best form for me. It has allowed to be more balanced in many areas. I use this program to plan my sermons, teachings, staff meetings, and a ton of other things. A free version is called FreeMind.

7. People – One thing I have learned the hard way is that I did not rely on people enough. Yes my pride and trust issues had me have my hand in everything. I have been working a lot on this and found I am much more productive when I am doing what I was called to do instead of doing the jobs my team was called to do. Don’t underestimate the power of your team!

8. Journal – Ok, even with all the tech tools I use, I still carry a journal. Some days I just want to unplug from the computer and journal, scribble, sketch, or just doodle. Feels really good, and many times it is very relaxing to just write.

Being productive is not just a nice commodity in church planting, it is an essential! Even in the midst of the chaos, insanity, etc, I am at peace because I am being productive in an organized way. I hope you find some of these helpful, and please know, most of these things I found from others. Reading their blogs, talking in person, etc. Maybe an underlying theme of productivity is being in a network of productive people? Another thought for another time…

Grace.

Ben

For the past 5 days Brenda and I have been at Basic Training with ARC. This organization helps to plant churches through training and funding. While there were literally 20 sessions we went to with the amazing staff of New Life Church and ARC, there were a few key elements that flowed through every session. Here are my major takeaways, and I think all leaders could use them.

• Build Relationships. This is something that New Life Church has done and it resonates with every staff member that spoke to us. They are a huge family. Do they argue? Yep. Do they have disagreements? Yep. But they also laugh, cry, encourage, and share wins with each other. They have a great church but it is because they all generally want to have relationships with each other. Example: Brenda’s back and legs locked up pretty bad from all the sitting. When I mentioned it to Darren DaLaune, Senior Executive Pastor at NLC, without thinking he had his phone in hand and was dialing at physical therapist for Brenda. Then, to go the extra mile, he said we were staying at his house because he had some crazy massage chair that in his words was “from outtta space, man.” (He’s Cajun and has an awesome accent. I’m working on copying it.) Point being he had met us a few days before, and we had spent a lot of time together, but he was willing to open his home. He wanted to build a relationship with us, and it was heartfelt and genuine.
• Vision and Values MUST be the filter. They are uncompromising on this. If an idea is amazing but doesn’t fit through the filter of their vision, it doesn’t make it.
• Organization and Planning does not negate the work of The Holy Spirit. This church fully relies on the work of the Holy Spirit, but they also are well planned and thought out. As Darren said (in that cool Cajun way) “If da Spirit can move on Sunday, we believe he can move on Monday!”

There was so much great stuff but these were the things that were huge for me. I can never express how much I appreciate the ARC staff (Guy Walker and Cory Hardesty were there) and Rick Bezet, Darren DaLaune, and the entire New Life Church Staff. Thank you for being open and raw with a bunch of church planters. You are definitely a church that God is using for huge things!

Baypointe Church…get ready!

Another preview service is in the history books of Baypointe Church and I am so excited about all the great things that happened yesterday. As I made a list of these things, I noticed it was all about people. Yes, I liked the way the stage looked, the new Baypointe Kids Banner was awesome as well as the new look of the check in center, but when I listed the things I really liked, I quickly noticed it was all about people. That is a great feeling. Here are a few WINS:

• We had new people serving! I love looking around at all the people I did not know 6 months ago, and see them serve as a greeter, media tech, usher, band member, kids worker, etc. It is just overwhelming to see people join together so quick. Are we a tight knitted, well oiled machine? Not yet, but give us time…
• We had 2^nd time guests! This is huge for a church plant. Visitors are great, but 2^nd timers are even better.
• I looked around and saw the work of other churches and leaders that have invested into us without even seeing what we are doing. So many churches have banned together, given us finances and personal support, and encouraged me. To all of you, I can not express how thankful I am for your partnership.
• The worship team had their best set yet. It was really good, and we still don’t have a drummer. If you have an extra one you could send my way let me know. I’m not above drummer trafficking…
• So many great people dong great things for other people. That is what I want our church to always be about, and yesterday it happened.
• After service about 20 of us all went to lunch and had a blast at a little local joint. Loved hearing and seeing people connect. Amazing how food does that!

Launch is getting close and I feel the pressure, but at the same time I can’t hardly contain the excitement. Now it’s time to give the vision of Baypointe church some legs…launch team get ready!

Enjoy some pictures. By the way, our photographer is on the worship team so no worship team pictures this month. Check back next month…she’s sitting a song out!

So the craziest three weeks of my life are over. I drove literally thousands of miles, stayed in a dorm room, 2 hotels, a corporate apartment, and an air mattress on the floor of a cabin on the campground. My intake of food was horrible and exercise was non-existent so I am feeling awful about how much I weigh and my physical shape. My son won’t let me go anywhere he can’t see me because he is afraid I am leaving again, and my girls look like they have grown up while I was gone. I feel like I am behind on all the stuff that needs to get done for Baypointe’s launch in August, and that is enough pressure to kill a large lion, or tiger, or bear…oh never mind. So in the end, if I had to do it all over again, would I do it…without hesitation YES. For the things I had to endure, here’s what I gained:

1. I got to serve my denomination through my service to the State Office. I love my denomination. Make no mistake about it. Before you go crazy on me, yes, there are things I don’t like about it. Honestly, I do not feel you will find an organization the size of the Church of God without flaws. Within our denomination, there are great people who love Jesus recklessly and are doing amazing things. I learned that I do not have to “fit in” or “like” what they are doing. It is ok, to see things differently, and even approach ministry differently. I do not have to agree with everything that is going on, and I know that not everything I do is looked upon favorably by a majority of ministers in our state. The State Office is fully supportive of what we are doing at Baypointe and believe in us, as well as, a ton of other pastors and leaders as well. Thanks to a good friend Rick Whitter, I have a much better grasp on this.
2. The leadership team at Baypointe Church is incredible. They had little contact with me due to my schedule but completed the tasks they had to get done. It is great therapy for me to have to let go and trust they will get things done. We are still learning each other, and how to do life together, yet, they completely handled setting up for the launch team meeting including kids experience without anything from me. That is a great team. I am honored to serve with them.
3. Our partnership with ARC (Association of Related Churches) is official. This is huge and I won’t go into many details, but they are one of the most successful church planting and church networking forces on the planet. They have a success rate that blows the national average out of the water, and I am honored we were selected. The assessment process was insanely stressful and difficult, but in the end our church was approved, and I met some people that I believe will stay friends for a long time. Stressful situations bring groups of people close, quickly.
4. I was honored to be a groomsman in the wedding of Mr. and Mrs. Arron Archer. I am so proud of this guy and cannot wait to see what God does through him. He is a highly talented worship leader that in a few years could be a name you will be hearing running in big circles…just a hunch.
5. I was also able to serve our denomination through working two weeks of youth camp with over 800 teenagers combined. Watching God move among these teens is always emotional for me. Teens have a rough life, and seeing them cry out to God is something that still gets me. More than that, I love working with so many great friends for those two weeks. These are not just friends that you see and then they go away with no thought. These are friends that make you light up when you are around them and a little empty when they are gone. Friends like that are rare, appreciate them.
6. Finally, I learned how much I have fallen in love with the city God has called me to. I missed my family, and friends of Panama City Beach more than I can explain. But I also missed the city. The people I do not know yet. The culture, the feeling, and the atmosphere of living where I live is something I truly missed. It’s a comforting fact to know that God has attached my heart to this amazing city.

So yes it was crazy, long, intense, extremely tiring, and at times unbearable. It was also exciting, rewarding, fun, and joyful. The rewards far exceed the sacrifices. I am home now and can’t wait to see what God has in store for my family, friends, and Baypointe in the upcoming weeks. I am not going anywhere for…wait…I leave in three weeks for Little Rock, Arkansas. Well at least it is only for a week…

In the continuing saga of “Hi, my name is Ben, and God uses my kids to teach me lessons,” I have to tell you about a lesson I learned at 2:30 this morning. In the spirit of authenticity, let me tell you that at first, I was not happy to be up “learning a lesson” at 2:30. Is it just me or does God teach other people lessons at obscene hours of the morning. Honestly, I think it is my fault because sometimes I don’t slow down long enough to learn anything, but that is another post for another time. On to the lesson…

A few times a week, my amazing son Gracen gets up in the middle of the night, makes his way downstairs, over the baby gate (which obviously does no good), and into our room. He usually wakes me up and says “Daddy I want to nuggle.” Yes, nuggle. And yes, we are the parents that let our kids come into our room in the middle of the night contrary to all those out there that think that is wrong, have better boundaries, blah blah blah. Have you met my other kids? They turned out ok. Now last night he comes into my room, but this time it was a different. He used a different tone, body language was different, and he said, “I want my dad.” I pulled him up and he went right back to sleep, but for the rest of the night he had to be touching me. I keep scooting him over, scooting me over, trying to make some room. Every time, he would wake up a little and then slide right back over to me. I could not escape the clutches of a 3 year old. How he knew in his sleep he was not touching me I do not know. This morning, I asked him “what was up with you last night little man? You were all over me.” He just said, “I was scared.” I said “Of what?” Then he said something amazing, “I don’t know, but I just wanted my dad.” Uh…what do you say to that? Yep, I teared up, held him, and took him to school.

Lesson: He was scared of something, and in his fear he turned to his dad. It was instinctual for him. His thought process went like this – I’m scared, I want to be close to my dad. Are you getting it? Do you see it? Where do we turn to when we are scared? (Please don’t give me the “we shouldn’t be scared, we are Christians” line. I get it, but maybe I am not holy enough because I sometimes get scared too. If you never get scared of anything, please email me how you do that.) Gracen’s instinct was to find his dad, get close, and never let go. He found a way to stay connected. I want to be like that. I want to run to God, get close, and never let go. Except I want to do it all the time. When I find myself in moments of joy, fear, disappointment, confusion, and doubt, I want to not allow him to get away.

I want that for your life as well. I want you to chase God, find Him, and never let go. He, unlike me, will never scoot you away…only closer.

Grace.

Ben

Today was another great preview service at Baypointe Church! I am always humbled when I see the faces of all those people that have decided to go on this journey in starting a new church. Each month, things get a little better as we seek to improve each time. One of the things that is always exciting is seeing new people serve in various ministries. Today we added a new bass player to the band (Kate Lawler), a new nursery worker (Kim Holland), and a new media tech (Aaron Lawler.) These guys and girls did a great job, and I love looking forward to working with more new volunteers next month!

A couple of things I want to announce regarding some changes at Baypointe Church.

1. Pastor Billy Tisko has accepted a teaching position in Fort Meade, Fl and will be moving there at the end of the school. He came here to help us get started and he more than fulfilled that purpose. We are grateful for his hard work, and he will be missed.
2. At the same time, we are excited to announce that Teresa Huber has accepted the position of Children’s Ministry Director. She will be directing BaypointeKIDS, teaching in our elementary experience, and helping organize the nursery and toddler department. She comes to us with years of experience in teaching kids in both a school and church setting. We look forward to seeing what God will do through her.
3. We are also excited to welcome Neal Harris to our team. Neal has years of experience leading large youth groups and since moving to Baypointe Church, that passion has been rekindled. Neal and I will begin to plan and organize the possibility of a youth program to be launched at a time after launch on August 22^nd. Until then, Neal will be working with Teresa and the team of them will ensure the families of our church have amazing programs for our children and youth. (Neal Harris and Teresa Huber pictured in to the right.)

So as we say good-bye to our good friend Pastor Billy, we say hello to new friends. The journey of our church is made of people that serve God through serving others. The coming of some and arriving of others is part of that journey. I hope you will find your place in our church and begin serving today!